Armageddon

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go to the funeral. I wasn’t sure if I could face the burden of being reminded of Oscar Choi, my fiancé who was one of the members of the astronaut team that saved Earth from meeting its end. But I went anyway; Grace told me it would be good for my health. It would be an awakening that Oscar won’t and can’t come back to me. I knew this, but my heart didn’t. He still lived and thrived within my heart.
I could feel the wetness of flowing tears slip down my cheek as I watched military officials and other men carry out the empty caskets and set them on the ground followed by covering them with the American flag. I quickly turned to A.J. Frost, who was the closest to me at the time, and buried my face in his shoulder. Grasping tight onto his black tuxedo jacket I slightly brought my face back into the open and watched as the preacher began his speech. The American flag was lowered onto the coffins. Feeling the sting in my eyes I quickly turned my head from the red, white, and blues and said quietly, “The color hurts my eyes.”
A.J. brought his arm around me and whispered back, “It’s ok Connie. There’s no need for excuses.” I looked up at him and as he smiled I realized a faint tear was trickling down his cheek. Over the time that their mission had ended, A.J. and I had bonded and had become closer than before. He was Oscar’s best friend and told me that he was there when he died; the dreadful event of Oscar not being able to fasten his helmet on and get out of his seat. And when the Independence crashed and all had calmed, he was the one who cradled Oscar’s limp body.
As I bawled in A.J.’s left arm, Grace Frost firmly held his right hand. Yes, after a long relationship they had gotten married. And like me, Grace had faced a lost also. Her father Harry Stamper. Hearing her unsteady breathing I could tell she was crying. The ending prayer came and after what felt like forever the funeral was over. Relations and friend mourners said their good-byes to both others and the dead. I didn’t waste any time with good-byes, this funeral atmosphere was too much.
But before I could leave I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around I saw a swarm of secret service men with their serious faces and black sunglasses and right in the middle I saw the president of the United States. In all my life, I figured that if I ever got to meet the president I would most likely go berserk. But I was wrong; I merely turned to him with a solemn look on my face. “Miss Madison?” He questioned.
“If you don’t mind Mr. President, I prefer to be called Mrs. Choi.” I replied.
He slightly smiled at how I had adopted Oscar’s last name anyway. “I am sorry that your fiancé was not able to make it back”-I could feel the tears beginning to fall, but I quickly bit them back-“But I want you to know that even though he lost his life he will still be honored and reckoned. I will make sure of it his name is not left off as that of a hero. I wish I could’ve met him. Of what I heard he was a great man.”
Now I’m no whiz at language arts, but I know what past tense means. Of what I heard he was a great man. He was. I glanced down at the ground hoping I could pull myself together. “Yes sir, one of the greatest. Thank you, sir.”
And then surprisingly he extended his hand and I shook it. Then slightly nodding I turned and entered my truck. Cranking it up I placed my left hand on the steering wheel. Through the corner of my eye I saw the shine of my golden band. It wasn’t much, just twenty-five cents. Oscar gave it to me at the last minute before takeoff, not to mention a last minute idea. Otherwise I’m sure he would’ve gotten a better one. But in a way, I believe it’s more special that way. It’s coming more from the heart than the wallet. I could feel my eyes watering again, which they had begun to do more often. Then placing my hands on the steering I brought my head forward and rested it on my hands, letting it all out, letting it all go. I cried till the sun disappeared below the hills, but I found that I could never let it all go; it was scarred within me and would always stay. And when that scar would be picked at, I will always face that pain.

Pulling into my driveway I looked over at my fields where I kept my cattle. Being a cattle rustler my steer was the most prized possessions and most expensive thing I owned. Besides the presents that I had gotten from Oscar. As I stared at the fields I felt a foreign pull of my lips spread and what I thought could never happen did. I smiled. And it felt so good. But it wasn’t the sight of my steer that brought it onto my face; it was the sight of them not being there.
Most likely the leading bull had found yet another weak spot in the fence and used it to his advantage. I really need to get someone to fix that fence. Pulling on my leather gloves I zipped up my policewoman jacket and got out of the car. Lately these nights had gotten a little colder than they usually were. Walking into the barn I saddled up one of my horses and set out into the cold night.
The soft thud of my mare’s hooves beating against the ground was almost like music. There was something beautiful about a night ride out in the stars, something magical. The pain doesn’t hurt here, not with the stars above me. I pushed my chin against my chest to fight the bite of the wind hitting my face. My horse’s nostrils flared with steam.
Trotting up a gentle hill my mare came to a stop. Below us in a green meadow stood my cattle, like ghosts against the sky. Their breath trailed snakelike from their heads. With a snort one looked toward me and just as calmly turned its head and began eating again. And there it went again, the strange pulling of my lips, a smile. I looked up into the sky and stared at the rhinestone stars. At that moment, I could’ve sworn that Oscar was still alive, right next to me. But I ignore the feeling; after all, I had some cattle I needed to herd.

Hanging up my black cowboy hat and shedding my gloves and jacket, which I got from once being in NMPC (New Mexico Police Department), I collapsed onto my sofa. Picking up the remote I turned on the television and changed the channel to the TV guide. But my eyes quickly switched their focus to a picture that sat right next to the TV on a stool. I soon forgot about what was on this late at night, the flashbacks hit me too hard to fight them.
The picture was of one Halloween where I talked Oscar into going trick-or-treating. Sure we got a lot of strange looks as we walked around neighborhoods standing about two or three feet above everybody else, but it was fun. Oscar dressed up as Han Solo and I dressed up as Princess Leia. I tried to remember what Grace had told me at the funeral, something like, “Look at things as good memories and don’t dwell on the fact of him being dead. You’ll be able to live with it like that.”
But I still felt the pain, it didn’t sting as bad, but I still could feel it there. I then tried what felt so good herding my cattle back home, a smile. But unlike out in the fields, as I pulled my lips I felt a tear drop down my cheek. Getting up I walked over and gently pushed the picture frame down onto the table where I wouldn’t be able to look at it. And then another tear fell, and yet another. “It’s late,” I told myself, “I’m just needing some rest.”
And so I turned off the TV and went into my room. Even though I probably wouldn’t get any rest tonight.

The next morning in the middle of breakfast I got a call from Grace asking me if I wanted to have lunch with them. I told her yes since I had nothing better to do. And that’s why I’m pulling up into the driveway of Chick-fil-a. Getting out of the car I turned around to see them waving from inside. Smiling, which I had begun to try doing more often, I waved back. Walking inside they came up to me and we hugged. “Hey, how’s it going?” I asked as cheerfully as I can. Grace glanced at A.J. with a smile, “Good.”
“You feeling ok, Connie? You don’t look all that well.” A.J. asked me.
I was silent for a moment, I truly wasn’t ok, but should I tell them that?
“Yeah,” Grace agreed looking at me, “You look like you haven’t gotten any sleep. And your eyes are bloodshot.”
Remembering that I forgot to brush my hair I was rather glad that I was wearing my cowboy hat. “I’m fine,” I replied wiping my eyes in some hope that the rings under them would disappear, “Now let’s eat! I’m starving!”
Time passed by and soon we got our food. It felt good to be with A.J. and Grace; they were the only people I had to talk to. I get lonelier these days, and when I’m alone the pain can strike harder. Opening up my four-pack chicken nuggets Grace looked at me a little worried, “Apparently you weren’t as hungry as I figured you to be.”
“Well,” I replied placing a nugget in my mouth, “I don’t really have that big of an appetite.”
“Look Connie, I know we’re all shook up about the deaths that have happened in the mission but, it’s unhealthy to not eat.”
“I am eating!”
“Not as much as you used to. I remember back before Oscar died you would sometimes even eat more than Oscar and A.J. combined.”

“It has nothing to do with that, I’ve just not felt that much hungry anymore.”
Grace sighed.
“Well, the reason we were wanting you to eat with us,” A.J. began, “is that we wanted to tell you that tomorrow we’re heading out on our honey moon.”
I stopped everything that I was doing. “Excuse me?”
“We’ll call you of course. It won’t be like we’ll disappear from all knowing.” Grace added.
“Why? Why leave?”
“You know, after somebody gets married they always have a honey moon,” A.J. told me, “it’s a tradition.”
“But…how can you desert me right now? Ya’ll are all I have!”
Grace reached over and placed her hand on mine, “We can’t help you through this Connie. This is something you have to on your own. Don’t forget, you aren’t the only one who has lost someone.”
I closed my eyes tightly to try and fight back the tears, “I know Grace, I know. But you have A.J, you have your family, I have no one. I’m alone, and when you’re alone you have more things to think about, more things to reflect on.” I pulled my hand away from hers. All my closest relations had either died or have been living in some distant country.
Grace and A.J. looked at me sadly. “Listen, I understand but-” He began.
“Just shut-up!” I didn’t mean to sound hateful but I didn’t even realize that I had said that aloud, “You don’t know half of what I’m going through!”
I got up from the booth and quickly began to walk off. I heard A.J. get up also and begin to follow me. Fastening my pace I got into my red truck before he could say anything to me and sped off. It hurt as I looked into the rear view mirror to see a disappointed and sad A.J. standing out in the parking lot watching me go. And I regretted blowing up at them, but it seems like I’ve changed so much since Oscar’s death.
Driving down the road towards home I looked to my left to see the graveyard that Oscar was “buried” in. I decided to stop by and visit his grave, maybe talk to him. I paused for a moment at that thought, no; I won’t talk to him, that just sounds crazy. I’ll merely say my good-bye. If I can somehow let go of him, maybe I can go on with my life.
Walking past the graves I felt a chill go down my spine and I shivered. There was something creepy about this place; I pulled my jacket closer around my body. Even I broad daylight I didn’t like it. I was never much for anything that had to do with death since it seemed like no one in my family ever had a long life. I had been through too many funerals, it was all I could bear to have another one. Picking some flowers that had been growing I walked up to Oscar’s grave. The tombstone read: OSCAR CHOI, A TRUE BLUE HERO. Strangely I smiled despite the atmosphere, I had requested that put on there, that’s what he truly was.
I bent down and placed the flowers on the fresh dirt of his grave and suddenly, thoughts of the book Pet Sematary by Stephen King rushed through my mind. My mind flashed of pictures of Louis Creed climbing over the Cemetery gates with grave robbing equipment planning on digging up his son. He had believed his child had died too soon, and had been facing the same problems and flashbacks pretty much as me, so he decided that he would bring his son back to life by reburying him in the MicMac Burying Grounds; another section of the Pet Sematary.
The only problem was that the MicMac Burying Grounds were made for animals and only one person had been buried there. And that person became evil once he was brought back. Deep in my heart I wish there was truly a MicMac Burying Grounds. Then I wouldn’t have to be alone. I’m sure Oscar wouldn’t become evil, he couldn’t. But, that’s what Louis believed also. I chuckled a sad chuckle staring at the grave and caressing my engagement ring. It really didn’t matter though if there was a MicMac Burying Ground or not, I wouldn’t be able to bring Oscar back anyway. His grave was empty.
Taking off my ring I placed it on top of his tombstone, “Good-bye Oscar. I’m sorry that I can’t keep the ring but as Grace said, it was like having a piece of you with me. And I’ve realized that it’ll probably be better for both of us if I let you go. I can’t live in the past…so…until we meet again.”
I stood there for a few minutes longer, giving one last look at the ring letting the wind whip through my golden brown hair. But strangely as I stood there, I felt a presence, as if someone was near me. I quickly turned around, just in time to see a dark figure disappear into nothing. My heart leapt into my throat. “Hello?” I called out, “Any one there?”
Feeling the chill again I quickly began to walk away from the grave scene. I laughed at the joke but soon stopped myself. That’s the way Louis began acting when he was going mad in the graveyard. Then something else popped up in my mind as I stood there, a song by the Ramones that was referred to often in the book, “Hey ho, let’s go.” That’s a pretty good idea. I looked down at the ground collecting my thoughts and when I looked up, I noticed there stood a church next to the graveyard. I had never remembering a church being there.
Now, I was never very big on religion. I’m not exactly sure why either, I needed someone to keep me company. But I remembered as a child being read Revelations, and the president had said this was Armageddon. Although they probably believe that it’s over now, that the Earth is safe. But they’re wrong. That’s just the beginning, the rapture hasn’t even happened yet, and an Antichrist hasn’t been pointed out. A thought then shot through my mind, what if our president’s the Antichrist? Well, I believe I will go inside that church for a moment.
Walking through the double doors I entered the sanctuary. It was a beautiful church, with red carpet and stained glass windows. Walking past the white isles with natural wood trimming I stopped at the altar. In front of me stood the preacher’s podium in the shape of the cross, and behind that right above the baptizing tub (you could call it that couldn’t you?) was a life size model of the cross. And on that cross was Jesus, his head adorned with that of the crown of thorns and his body scared.
Looking at the ornament I brought my hand over my heart. His scars…they reminded me of my own. Like me, his scars were caused from love. And just at that moment I felt my scar begin to fester and I felt that pain. Overwhelmed I dropped to my knees and intertwined my hands in a praying motion and bowed my head, “Dear God, that is, if there is a God, I come to you now because I can tell the end is near. And, I’ve been going through some rough times. But God, why’d you have to take Oscar away from me? Why did you have to make where I am alone? Really, I’m not sure if I can survive like this. I’m tired of everything making me cry. The memories, the friends, just my life in whole. God, I need Oscar. Please, bring him back to me. Please. Send an Angel if you have to. Amen.”
Getting up and feeling a little weak legged; I sat down on the front pew. Feeling my eyes water I looked back up at the messiah.
“Something troubling you?” I heard a voice say from behind me.
I quickly turned around and noticed it was the preacher. “Hmmm,” He continued, “I thought I had locked the doors.”
Wiping my eyes I began to stand up and said to the old man, “Well, I’m sorry to have gotten in when I wasn’t suppose to, I’ll go.”
“No, no. Sit down, I feel like you need to talk to someone”-Squinting his eyes he peered closer at me-“Hey, aren’t you one of the people who lost someone in the mission to stop the meteor?”
I nodded. He walked over next to me and slowly sat down. “So that’s why I see these tears.”
“Yea, I’ve had trouble the past few days that he’s not been with me.”
“Who, my dear?”
“Oscar Choi.”
He nodded understandingly, “Well, at least he’s in a better place.”
“I don’t mean to be rude Brother…”
“My name’s Philip.”
“I don’t mean to be rude Brother Philip, but I am sick and tired of that saying. I long to go to that place if it is so better than here.”
“Don’t we all?” He said rather distantly.
“No, I mean, Heaven’s a great place but it’s not that reason. Everyone I know and love is up there. Many times I’ve considered to place it in my hands when I should go there.”
“My child, please don’t ever say something like that! God is never pleased when you take over his job. It is his decision when you should die or not.”
I nodded sadly. “Y’know? People say it is the end of the world but where is the rapture? When do all the Christians disappear from the Earth and join God?”
“I don’t know, it’s all in God’s hands. But you know, many times in the past when a great event has occurred, people usually say it’s the end of the world. But I can go ahead and tell you, God usually doesn’t bring people back to life.”
“You heard my prayer?” I felt horrible; I said that prayer because no one was there to hear me. I probably did things all wrong.
“Yes, well, a little. But don’t worry, I won’t tell.” Brother Philip then gave a smile.
I smiled back. Then realizing how the stained glass windows had faded I quickly looked around to check what time it was. “What is it?” Philip asked.
“Would you know what time it is?”
“Why, yes. It is”-He pulled back his sleeve where his watch was-“Eight-thirty.”
“Well, I’ve enjoyed talking to you, but I better go. I’ve got some pets at home that I need to tend to.”
“You too. And I hope we meet again, but next time in service.” He smiled.
“I’ll consider that.” I replied and began to walk out of the double doors. But as I reached out for the door handle I felt a cold chill crawl down my spine, and in my mind flashed flames crackling and burning. I didn’t quite understand what it meant then, but when I looked back, Brother Philip was gone. There was something freaky about this whole piece of land. What was with the cold chills?
Walking out to the car I felt the cold sting of the wind brushing past me. I then got inside and cranked it up, making sure to turn on the heat system. Then pulling out I headed in the direction towards home. If only I had realized that when I had exited the church that it had disappeared, with nothing left but soot and ashes.

I unlocked my door and entered my house, dark and empty. But for the most part, quiet. Hanging up my jacket and hat I somehow found the bedroom in my sleepiness. And when I did, I gladly collapsed onto my bed letting the coolness of it being unused for the day swoop over me. My eyes fluttered shut but I forced them back open. When you live on a farm it doesn’t just take a few minutes to feed everything you own. Glancing over at my digital clock I saw it read 12:31.
Looking over at my answering machine I noticed that there was one message that I hadn’t looked at. Pressing the play button I heard the mechanical voice say: “You have one message:”-then it switched to a man’s voice which sounded greatly familiar-“Hey Connie, this is A.J. Listen, about lunch today, I’m sorry to disappoint you but some things aren’t always going to be the best of times, and we just have to go on with our lives. But, this death thing, it’s affecting you way too much. Connie, Grace is worried about you, I’m worried-” I quickly mashed the delete button. I didn’t feel like listening to the rest of the message. I was still mad at them, even though it was selfish.
Giving a deep sigh I got up and changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. Then I turned and fed the one pet I hadn’t yet. My goldfish. Not bothering to turn the lights on in my bedroom I groped for the covers and got in. Lying in bed waiting for sleep to come I recapped over the events of today. It’s so quiet here, almost like no one lives here. Well, besides me that is. But, it feels so empty, so alone…


Forward to Chapter 3




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